Date of experience: March 2010
On a hill overlooking the Kathmandu suburb of Budhannilakantha with a view of Kathmandu valley one can proceed another 4.5 km uphill to get entry to the Shivapuri National Park and right next to the gate of Shivapuri National Park there is the Dhamma Shringa, the Goenka International Vipassana Meditation Center in operation since 1981, it attracts participants from all parts of the world. Retreats are free of charge, run solely on a donation basis. Free buses leave an office in Kantipath to take participants there and back. The participants who attended with me were a mixture of about 75% Nepali people and 25% mostly young travelers from many countries. About 200 people came for the retreat. Also known as the Nepal Vipassana Center, it is in the foothills of the Himalayas, overlooking the Kathmandu valley, about 12 kilometer north of Kathmandu City. The Center's land covers nearly four acres. Various buildings serve for residences, ranging from dormitories to single rooms, two separate dining halls for men & women, and a few meditation halls. The center can comfortably accommodate about 250 people. A half-ring-shaped building containing 84 meditation cells, is available for the old students. The Nepal Vipassana Center is in the Shivapuri hills approximately 30 minutes walks from Shivapuri Heights Cottage and about 12 kilometer north of Kathmandu City.
In the months and years since I took a ten-day Vipassana Meditation course in Nepal, I reflected on the experience of my journey to the spiritual world of meditation meditation as I began to understand the importance of mindfulness in the present moment and how to use it to improve the mind and body in the present day. I have no idea why people think that the world is not good enough for them to have existed in their thoughts and feelings were shared with others to share thoughts, now that I have distance from the experience. I jotted a few sparse notes during the course and journaled on Day Eleven to chronicle my ten-days in a Vipassana course. Those entries shared the raw thoughts and feelings as I processed each day of meditation and course teachings. During the course, I was deep in the middle of the pain and difficulty. There was little room for reflection.
What is Vipassana Meditation and how does it works? Vipassana means to see things as they really are. The technique is and harmony within, and ultimately leads to the end of suffering. The technique of Vipassana meditation is a practical way to achieve peace of mind and live a happy, productive life. It is learned by attending a 10-day residential course with a qualified teacher where the student is free from distractions so that the reality within can be observed. This technique helps practitioners come out of suffering; it is non-sectarian and is suitable to all people regardless of religion, gender, race, or nationality. The course offered at the Vipashana meditation Centre, Dhamma Shringa meaning summit of Dhamma are conducted by assistant teachers of S.N.Goenka using audio and video recording of Goenka’s instructions and discourses. All ten-day courses begin the evening of the arrival day and end early morning of the departure day. I have attended this Vipassana center with the biggest proportion of local people and tourist. As such, it seemed too large and a bit unwieldy (very little time for interviews), a long line for lunch, a limited and controlled number of cushions, and a rather institutional attitude on the part of some of the senior staff, who had a curt and officious mannerism, like Nepali civil servants (they probably had been).
I dubbed my time in Vipassana meditation as my ten-day stint in “solitary confinement.” It’s how it felt at the time. And even in retrospect this intense mediation course as one of my wackier decisions. It’s one of the most structured and regimented forms of meditation. The rules are strict, and the entire process is tightly control. This course was the hardest thing I have ever voluntarily chosen. More than six months later, I was endlessly thankful that I was able to complete it, that I had the support and stamina during the course finish. And now, thirteen years later I still look at that course as a formative foundation on how I approach life.
A few of the strict rules: A rigorous schedule is followed, with a wake-up bell at 4 am, followed by the first meditation period from 4.30 to 6.30. A minimal 'breakfast' is served at 7, with the main meal of the day at 11 am, and a tea break at 4 pm. Food is vegetarian, with more variety and tastier than the standard Nepali dhal bhaat (rice and lentil). Lights are out at 9.30 pm. In the evening, there is a one-hour taped lecture by S.N. Goenka, the Burmese Indian businessman who, on instructions from his Burmese Buddhist meditation teacher, developed the now-worldwide program starting in 1969. The lectures are informative as well as entertaining. You cannot speak or communicate (non-verbal communication like eye-contact is a no-no), no reading or writing and food is restricted after the mid-day meal.
The course kicked my ass. Raw feelings bubbled up throughout the intense ten days as I was already depressed. I started the course cautious and fearful of what it would be like. Then I had anger and resentment during the middle. By the final day, I swelled with well-being and happiness. And now? Pride. I feel proud that I was able to complete the course. This was one of the hardest obstacles in my life to complete. Growing up I was a dilettante. And while usually that’s one of the cornerstones of being a child—experimenting, learning, and discovering new interests—changing interests so frequently impacted my personal self-views. I have always considered myself a quitter.
Back in the University days, I loved spending time with friends. Going to the central library, gathering with friends at the sheda hall and to the Gurukul (theatres) in old Baneshwor. I used to enjoy evey bit of it however, these activities wasn’t as fun as it used to be, which then gave way to depression. Then there was that brief stint in trying to stay normal, then , followed by several years of contemplation. I dabbled in trying myself involved in some sort of profession, looked for more interviews, and went back to teaching in high school. All that took a backseat to that fateful day—the only thing I stuck with. Until I didn’t; I left my teaching career to travel overseas.
On day four, when I wanted to quit it was more than that. I needed to quit. I begged to quit. I spazzed out in my head with a need to abort the decision and save myself from finishing the course. I didn’t like the trainwreck of thoughts I faced each meditation session. I desperately wanted the opportunity to relieve myself from the pain. Teacher persuaded me to stay. He assured me that I was strong enough. That’s it. That I was strong enough to finish. And in staying, I proved to myself that I was strong enough to honor my commitment.
This personal lesson is not the point of Vipassana; but it was one of the things I proved to myself on the trip thanks to the course and to my friend for telling me about the Nepal Vipashana meditation centre. And it was one of the many things I took from that course. Thirteen years later, the course teachings continue to shape my ideas about the world. I think about impermanence when I process the difficult phase in my life. Hugely traumatic experience – I won’t go into details, but I had lots of craving, aversions and sankharas to deal with. I cried a lot! when I was faced with debilitating life challenges. In the depth of my depression in 2010, when all seemed futile. It’s then that a niggling piece of my brain reminded me that I knew a technique to climb out of the hole and find help. It took a lot to come out of the depression, but Vipassana was surely a tool that allowed my brain to lift from that pain.
I have always kept Vipassana as a part of my life. No, I don't practice the technique on a regular basis, which requires two hours a day of silent meditation? I have perhaps ten times in the thirteen years since I took my Vipassana course. I have friends who aim for 20 minutes a day in the weeks and months after their course. I learned a lot during those ten days, but ultimately, I continued my round the world trip and somehow allowed the Vipassana to fall aside, with the practice not integrated into my life, but the teachings have remained a part of me forever.
The crux of the question for many is if they should take a Vipassana course. It’s highly personal. This is not a question I could ever decide for someone. I can’t tell you if it’s the right next step for you, but I can give you a few thoughts I’ve had since then. I found benefit in the course because it gave me a lot of perspective I needed in my life. On a weekly basis I find my mind reframing situations with the lessons and teachings that you listen to each night. These lessons weave together Hinduism, Buddhism and Christianity to come aware with core truths all the major religions advocate. Goenka teaches these lessons via video tutorials each night. These lessons offered me clarification, peace, all that happy spiritual-ness that I sought. It didn’t fix my issues, but it gave me a new perspective.
Vipassana is not a cure-all, nor a magical solution to life’s problems. It doesn’t solve anything when you come out on the other side of the ten days. Instead, Vipassana is a tool. It’s a training technique that gives you another way to shape your mind—and yourself—into a person better able to face the world. The ten days are only the introduction to the technique. From there, it’s up to you how much you get out of it. The program provides ideas and a framework for viewing suffering and pain. It was a way to see the world that I had never considered. It reframed entire swathes of how I view my life.
And one thing my teacher told me has always stuck with me. He said, “Not everyone has heard of Vipassana, but it comes into your life when you need it. When you can most benefit from learning the teachings and technique.” Really appreciated the Vipashana meditation techniques to achieve peace of mind and live a happy, productive life. I’m forever grateful to Goenka for giving me the chance to understand what goes on inside every one of us. I’d tried for a long time to be a ‘better’ person but always fell into the same bad habits, but this technique applied in daily life helps me really purify my mind. I would advise people to do a course – but be aware that if you have mental health issues or addictions the medicine that Vipassana provides can be difficult to take. Once you are back from the course listen to the discourses in detail. There is profound wisdom in these teachings. And keep practicing. It took me many years to realise that it’s by practising Vipassana daily that brings the benefits. I hope I have the sense to keep this a part of my life. In my experience – there’s nothing like it.
When I came out on the Eleventh day, I swelled with well-being and happiness. I feel refreshed and blessed that I was able to complete the course. The place is very refreshing and calm. I prefer to say a mind refresher for a short visit and refreshment. Peaceful and calm place to be in. I got into the bus ready for the journey back. As I was sitting near the window on the way back to city, could see people getting ready for the day. At the base of the Sivapuri hills is a remarkable statue of Lord Vishnu "Budhanilkantha", reclining on a bed of coiled snakes. The statue said to be sculpted from a single block stone, is set in the middle of a small pond, and appears to be floating in the water. The fragrance of incense and butter lamps make you a marvelous feeling. The Offerings (flower, fruits etc.) are done at the foot of the Statue. There are some pigeons hanging around to pick up the grains gives added significance. The flowers, fruits, lamps, and incense sticks are well displayed along the roadsides in plenty of stoles. You may get a basket of mixed offerings for 50 to 100 Rs. according to the size of the basket. There are some Sadhus/ priests with holy books, threads and tika powder sitting patiently until a devotee get blessings from them. They chant mantras and put red tika on forehead and put a thread around the wrist. All these sights were a blissful experience for me after a really traumatic experience I had a few months earlier.
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